Here

A blast of cold from the Arctic payed Victoria a visit last week. We noticed the usual symptoms: icy windshields and muttered mentions of the S-word. When the snow finally arrived, we woke to a beautiful white Wednesday morning. I felt sad the girls weren't clamouring by the window to go play. Still, it was great to wake with my babe next to me.

Early Tuesday, I'd fetched C. home from Royal Jubilee Hospital where she finally had the much anticipated boob removal done the morning before. The girls were whisked away to spend a glorious few nights with Nana and Popa and their iconic cousin, Em. I felt grateful and lonely.

It's strange seeing C. so whittled down --the cleansing diet of January, the embracing of a vegetarianism, the magic juice elixir, and now the pirate's treasure chest, halves her physique to its essentials.

In anticipation of the surgery, we jetted off to Palm Springs for a week of R&R sans kids. I've never been there, but despite the high cost of everything, I'd return in a flash. Lovely heat with no humidity.

Once back to reality and work, I found the week-long wait too much for me. Migraine headaches, spotty vision, gamey guts plagued me through the week. By Thursday I was walking a tightrope of anxiety; then I lost it. No excuse but I can try: major deadlines looming, a change for the worse in work portfolio, my boss avoiding my gaze, and the capper of a colleague nuking the better part of a day's work sent me over the edge. I swore --loudly. I proclaimed I was done and done and done. I lurched over to the office manager, told her I was sick and left. No recall of the drive home, although on arrival I know that I was sad that C. wasn't around --I needed a shoulder to bawl on. In the basement, I layed on the spare couch and stared at the ceiling.

I made my apologies the next day and put my head down to reclaim the time lost. All displacement activity; I admit I don't have the best coping skills.

We had the weekend to get ourselves organized before the dreaded Monday morning surgery. Tuesday C. came home, Wednesday it snowed, Thursday again with the snow and the kids came home, Friday brought a whole new scene with the kids being sweet and understanding. A weekend to wind myself up for the impending return to work yet again; a few mindless work days trying to catch up on two weeks absence, then here we are, hump day. Time flies eh?

C. is healing quickly and eager to renew her entire wardrobe. She dreams of clothes she never contemplated wearing with her now departed bazooms. I sense a shopping trip to Vancouver is in the works --for me there are many friends and family to catch up with. I think we'll need a month. I look forward to it. See you soon.